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I arrived at BiCon on the Thursday evening, very late due to pressure at work. I spent the remainder of the evening mainly catching up with old friends, many of whom you know from soc.bi - Olaf, Sion Arrowsmith, Bethan, Kay and Justin, Dave Berry and Diana, among others. I also met lots of others whose names but not faces were familiar, that evening and the following one - the "rufty tufty" Peter Cameron, the youthfully cute Sean Doran, the bubbly Lizzy and the lovely Vashti. Jon was there too of course, and Ciaran, though he'd been staying with me the week up to BiCon so I didn't see much of him at BiCon itself. A few people who I'd hoped to see, such as Sara (swamp thing) and Ang, couldn't make it.

Friday: Opening session - mixed bag

I went to this because I was neither a first-timer, nor a woman, nor an "old hand" (it being my 2nd BiCon); those were the other opening sessions. The discussion was initially about what our expectations of the conference were, and how we could achieve them. However, the discussion eventually got taken over by those people present who wanted to get laid - how to tell whether someone is "available" or not, in order to avoid offending those people who weren't available by asking (and perhaps to avoid wasting time with them). The group's facilitator being one of the ones who was hoping to get laid, he let the discussion focus on this for much of the workshop. Those of us who weren't, of course, said nothing and the workshop was rather a waste of time. One idea which was discussed to death (and has been mentioned on soc.bi) was that people should signal their availability by wearing their conference badge on their sleeve instead of their chest (you could of course move your badge at different times, even while talking to someone!) Personally I was against the idea; I wouldn't want to be part of a system which had no "maybe" option, and moreover the "yes" option was too ambiguous - yes is not simple, it means different thing to different people. Come to that, no is ambiguous too - for example, I'm effectively monogamous at the moment, but hugs and cuddles are certainly welcome, and the odd friendly kiss from certain special people, and a massage? Well, maybe. It's a question of where you draw the line, and that varies a lot on circumstances.

Who has the power in our communities?

The question posed by this workshop was never really answered, but it was interesting nonetheless. Some time was spent trying to develop a "map" of the bisexual communities. It's a difficult task. The way it ended up was with the UK community at the centre (local bi groups, BiCon); related activities close by (Bifrost, phone lines, support groups and so on); then other bi communities such as overseas groups, some connected by international groups such as the electronic bi communities; and other groups which involve bisexuals such as campaign groups. At the edges were non-biexual entities which have an effect on our communities, such as the media, and so on. Unfortunately the workshop was somewhat marred for me by the period in which we were split into smaller groups - in my group of four, one was more interested in pursuing his own agenda than the question at hand, and one (for whatever reason) was almost completely silent. But that's just chance, not a criticism of the workshop. In the final analysis, the workshop was interesting, but I felt not quite as interesting as it could have been. I was expecting a little more discussion about power and leadership. It seems to me that bisexuals are particularly suspicious about leadership, and that this may be one of the reasons the bi movement hasn't progressed further. But there wasn't really the opportunity to pursue this. Of course, workshops are to a large extent democratic, and you have to follow where everyone else wants to go. Perhaps the solution would be for me to run a similar workshop next year.

Professionalisation of the bi movement

...was another workshop which, I suspect, didn't quite go where its facilitator was expecting. The central idea was that as movements become more successful, they need to attract money. This leads to questions both of professionalisation and power - they get dependent on the money, and may ultimately be forced to go down paths dictated by the sources of the money. The example at the forefront of everyone's mind was that this year's BiCon itself was sponsored (the first time this has happened) by the Health Education Authority, a governmental organisation. While the extra money was no doubt of benefit to everyone at BiCon, the money must have come with conditions attached, judging by the presence of an HIV/AIDS/safer sex workshop in almost every slot; and, I understand, facilitators for some of these workshops had been hired, the first time facilitators at BiCon have been paid. Hence professionalisation.

In the split-into-small-groups section, the editor of Bifrost (the only national UK publication for bis, and amateur in the sense that the editorial collective do it for free) was in my group, which was interesting - she had a lot to say about her attitude to professionalism (she's all for it, and cited a number of achievements Bifrost has only been able to make through assuming professional practices, such as accepting advertising). Numerous other examples of, and attitudes to, professionalisation were expressed when the group came back together towards the end. No real conclusions were reached on the political side (how to prevent the bi movement being subverted by money), as I think the facilitator hoped, but at least we were (or I was) made much more aware of the implications.

At the same time as the professionalisation workshop was one on paganism, which I'd quite like to have attended - I suppose you would have. Luckily my better half did go, and we talked about it afterwards. I guess I would have been the odd one out if I had gone - I'm more interested in why so many bifolk seem to be pagans, than in pagan worship itself. Maybe next year.

There were a few things on on the Friday evening, but I concentracted on socialising. I met lots of new people, both from the net (see above) and non-net. Ciaran made us play a bizarre game called Pictionary (heard of it?) in the bar, and my team (Kay, Peter and myself) managed to lose pretty convincingly. I went to bed soon after 1am - I gather others went on partying until 4 or 5.

Saturday: Organising a local bi group

The workshop suffered from being held in a lecture theatre, which made it hard for people to see others in rows behind them. Everyone there who was in an existing group seemed to have a lot of urgent things to say, which made it difficult for the facilitators to structure the discussion - people kept returning to points other speakers had made. Still, I got a few good ideas out of it. There isn't a bi group (for men) in Brum... yet. However, there are some interested people, and I hope we may get one going soon. If there was one overriding thing I got out of this workshop, it's that starting up a new bi group requires different techniques to running an existing one.

Towards a bi men's event

...suffered, in my view, from a lack of leadership - no-one was prepared to assume full responsibility for being at the centre of some organisation dedicated to a bi men's event, newsletter, or anything. The group floundered around trying to decide everything democratically, without really getting it clear _what_ decisions we were trying to make first. Also, it was held over lunchtime - I left early, desperate for a quarter-hour break between 3 hours of workshops and another 3 in the afternoon.

Monogamy and bisexuality - are they compatible?

The answer is of course yes, since some bisexuals live serially monogamous lives quite happily. The workshop, then, turned out to be a safe space for some people who felt there was too much of an assumption that polyamory is the natural state for bisexuals. I was somewhat unusual, being the only one there who was not convinced that monogamy and bisexuality are compatible for themselves - I'm more "agnostic" about that, and went seeking further input. I did get some - beforehand, I would have quite liked to go to "creative non-monogamy" as well, but it was scheduled to happen in the same slot. Afterwards, felt I had had enough of the subject for a while - it's not exactly a pressing concern for me, since it is rare enough that I find _one_ person interested in me.

My partner's a bisexual

A safe space for a wide range of views from people in relationships with a bisexual (both monogamous and non-monogamous). People felt wonderfully able to talk about some deeply personal aspects of their relationships. I came away with lots of insights into and food for thought on what it is like to be in a relationship with a bi, particularly for a non-bi person. It can only be good for bisexuals to understand this kind of thing.

Young people in the bi community

was a mistake really; I let myself be persuaded to go, without being young or in touch with youth culture (I don't believe I really was even when I _was_ young!). There is clearly much to be done in terms of raising bi awareness among the young, but I don't think I'm the person to do it. If I have any criticism of the workshop, it's that the facilitator let the discussion get too theoretical and grandiose (how bisexuality should be portrayed for the young on TV, for example); I felt it should have been more focused on the practical aspects of how to get a bi youth movement going. Still, I'm sure many people (my SO included) got a lot more out of it than I did.

That was it for Saturday. Saturday night was the big party/disco night, but I didn't really have the energy for it (and I didn't fancy the music much, either). I just sat and talked to my good friend Bethan all evening, and other people who came and sat down with us for a while. After that there was something of a party in Jon's room, but I was too tired to join in much. I must be getting old. I think Jon and I got about 3 hours' sleep that night.

Sunday

My concentration on Sunday morning was absolutely lousy - probably from lack of sleep and workshop overload the previous day - so much so that I couldn't even read to the end of the day's programme. So I skipped the workshop on Theorising Bisexuality that I'd been planning to go to, and went for a walk round the lake instead. Jon was a bit depressed too, and went off on his own as well. I realised I will have to come to terms with not having a PhD to do any more - I think this was the first walk I've taken, for its own sake, for at least a year. I think a lot of people used BiCon not just for the interest in the workshops, but as a de-stressing break, a holiday even. If I wasn't such an intellectualism-junkie, perhaps I would have benefitted more from it in that way too.

Politics - the wider picture

Was initially about the political links which bis bring into the bi movement, and about whether there is common ground in these links, and in what way the bi movement should deal with them. However, after the small-groups section, the discussion moved towards the extent to which BiCon itself is political. Which was a useful discussion in itself, although it left many of the original questions unanswered - another topic for a workshop next year, perhaps.

Sue George

was the last workshop I went to - she is the author of a recent book "Women and Bisexuality", which I've heard good things about, so I went along (one of very few men to do so). It was mainly a question-and-answer session, and her views were interesting - she has been around in the bi movement for many years so has a long view, and is a jouralist, so has lots of insight into the media. However, she sidestepped what was to me the most important question - namely is there much in the book applicable to bi men? I'll just have to read it for myself I suppose.

After that, there was a closing ritual - intended to send everyone off with warm feelings. And finally, a closing session with announcements and much- deserved thanks for the conference collective. Next year's will be in Edinburgh (it'll be the EBG's 10th anniversary), and there were a number of voices raised for holding 1995's in the west midlands. If it ever happens, and I'm still here, I look forward to helping with that. Either way, I'm already looking forward to next year's BiCon. For some reason, most of the people who go to BiCon seem so much nicer than most of the people you meet in everyday life. It's impossible to say whether that's because they're bi, or the other way round; but I like them, I feel comfortable and have fun around them. It's a shame I can't be in a bisexual crowd all year round really.